Reflections
The biggest gift we can give to others is to “see” them
“Be kind whenever possible. It’s always possible.” ---Dalai Lama I recently had two people close to me experience serious medical issues. I talked to each of them on the same day and I was struck by the similarities AND differences in their responses. The first friend...
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One trait that will help leaders make better decisions
I was reading about an interesting personality trait called “intellectual humility.” Intellectual humility is defined as, “an awareness that one’s beliefs may be wrong.” Researchers at Duke University did a number of studies. In one study, participants read essays...
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There’s a world of difference between Intent and Impact
In diversity and inclusion work, one of the hardest concepts for people to grasp is the difference between intent and impact. Often, when we’re told that something we did or said was hurtful, demeaning, discriminatory etc., we’ll respond sincerely, “That wasn’t my...
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The Invisibility of Whiteness
Growing up, I always felt I didn’t have a “cool” heritage like other people. Some kids had big extended Italian or Greek or Irish or Polish families with weird food on the holidays and interesting traditions and beliefs. Then I met and married my husband who is...
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Leadership Lessons from a Liberal Arts Major
“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry I read a lot about leadership. A lot! Every leadership blog or website or book...
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What does the college cheating scandal have to do with leadership?
Recently, a headline caught my eye: “Know who’s not surprised by ‘Aunt Becky’s rule breaking? Every teacher.” It was referring to the college cheating scandal where several parents paid bribes to get their children into elite colleges. It’s written by a high school...
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Step forward or step back?
In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. --Abraham Maslow The first time I thought I was grown up was after my mom died. I was 21, just finishing college, gone through a tragic event. I thought to myself, “I’m...
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When Giving Feedback, it’s not the words; it’s the mindset.
I coach a lot of leaders and probably the top task they have anxiety about is giving feedback. When I ask them why they’re hesitant, I hear comments such as: “I’m afraid it will be uncomfortable; they’ll get upset.” “I don’t like conflict and feedback feels...
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Staying in the Now: Important for Life and Leadership
I just finished teaching an online course “Mindfulness in Leadership.” One of the major points is that most of us spend more time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future than we do in the moment. I definitely fall into the “worrying about the future”...
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Leadership From the Inside Out
“We judge ourselves by our intentions; we judge others by their actions.” I have never coached anyone who intends to be an ineffective leader. I often start coaching engagements using a 360 assessment called The Leadership Circle Profile. This insightful tool measures...
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One characteristic that gets in the way of being an effective leader
“Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life.” -- Simone Weil In my work with leaders, I find that one very human characteristic holds us back from being an effective leader: our ability and propensity to tell ourselves stories. Humans...
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Along Comes Mary
When I was writing this blog, the words to a song by the Association came to me (Along Comes Mary) along with the title to a movie from the 90’s (There’s Something About Mary). Unfortunately, both of those titles have some connotations I did not want to evoke (but I...
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