Reflections
Which end of the binoculars are you using?
There’s an old joke that goes like this: How do you catch an elephant? You’ll need a pair of binoculars, some tweezers, and a milk bottle (shows how old this joke is that it contains a milk bottle). Hide in the bushes and wait for an elephant to come by. Look at the...
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Bad Bosses
If you don’t see it, it will manage you. If you do see it, you can manage it. I read a statistic recently that most people will have a bad boss for approximately 80% of their career. I can guarantee that those 80% of “bad” bosses don’t think they’re bad bosses. So,...
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Anticipation
“We can never know about the days to come But we think about them anyway” --Carly Simon I’ve been fortunate enough to spend July and August at our vacation home in Colorado. I’ve done a lot of walking, a lot of writing and reading, a lot of listening to the river. The...
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The biggest gift we can give to others is to “see” them
“Be kind whenever possible. It’s always possible.” ---Dalai Lama I recently had two people close to me experience serious medical issues. I talked to each of them on the same day and I was struck by the similarities AND differences in their responses. The first friend...
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One trait that will help leaders make better decisions
I was reading about an interesting personality trait called “intellectual humility.” Intellectual humility is defined as, “an awareness that one’s beliefs may be wrong.” Researchers at Duke University did a number of studies. In one study, participants read essays...
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There’s a world of difference between Intent and Impact
In diversity and inclusion work, one of the hardest concepts for people to grasp is the difference between intent and impact. Often, when we’re told that something we did or said was hurtful, demeaning, discriminatory etc., we’ll respond sincerely, “That wasn’t my...
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The Invisibility of Whiteness
Growing up, I always felt I didn’t have a “cool” heritage like other people. Some kids had big extended Italian or Greek or Irish or Polish families with weird food on the holidays and interesting traditions and beliefs. Then I met and married my husband who is...
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Leadership Lessons from a Liberal Arts Major
“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry I read a lot about leadership. A lot! Every leadership blog or website or book...
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What does the college cheating scandal have to do with leadership?
Recently, a headline caught my eye: “Know who’s not surprised by ‘Aunt Becky’s rule breaking? Every teacher.” It was referring to the college cheating scandal where several parents paid bribes to get their children into elite colleges. It’s written by a high school...
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Step forward or step back?
In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. --Abraham Maslow The first time I thought I was grown up was after my mom died. I was 21, just finishing college, gone through a tragic event. I thought to myself, “I’m...
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When Giving Feedback, it’s not the words; it’s the mindset.
I coach a lot of leaders and probably the top task they have anxiety about is giving feedback. When I ask them why they’re hesitant, I hear comments such as: “I’m afraid it will be uncomfortable; they’ll get upset.” “I don’t like conflict and feedback feels...
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Staying in the Now: Important for Life and Leadership
I just finished teaching an online course “Mindfulness in Leadership.” One of the major points is that most of us spend more time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future than we do in the moment. I definitely fall into the “worrying about the future”...
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